Tan Yuu Shane: “(dis)orientation”
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again / oldest again / senior again / uniforms from everywhere / waiting for space that used to be mine / too loud / too erratic / sorry / jostling through the crowd / elbow in my hip / sorry, sorry / roll my eyes / don’t say anything / all at the front of queues now / snaking into stalls / swallowing us all / Auntie, 白饭吃的 /
new neon sign / LIBRARY / looks like a nightclub / is this how they get the kids to read / everything exciting only when / a new chapter is starting / or ending / i’m always on the cusp of it // coming and / leaving / a space / that never fully wants me /
you tell me to open up / so i do /
pon school / catch a whiff / disabled toilet / carpark /
exhaust / it seems even smaller / than this / close in /
lying on the floor of an empty classroom / will it always be like this / ceiling fan over head / dust landing on my tongue like snow / for a moment the classroom is almost / expanding into nothing / then everything / into a life / i would’ve wanted / will it always be like this /
they’re insane / one of them typing with one hand / waiting for the lift / other hand propping up her macbook / i ask why / physics competition / barely been a week / portfolio-maxxer / linkedin probably already better / than mine / lift is full / we squeeze in / laptop still in hand / still typing /
then it hits me / hints of musk / wet laundry / scrunched piles /
scent jabbing me like a creep /
you see / this smell is awfully / unfamiliar / tacky sign glowing through the lift door /
disgusting / beautiful / lingers on my tongue /
greedy adult / more time / let me try /
press all the buttons like a child /
lift hits ground /
GET OUT NOW
Tan Yuu Shane (she/her) is a budding Singaporean poet and a bilingual student at Eunoia Junior College. Her work has achieved a number of accolades, including awards in the National Poetry Competition and National Translation Competition. She is also a part of a local writing collective known as Caesura. When not immersed in poetry, she can be found exploring the city's art galleries or meticulously curating her latest Spotify playlist.
